I wrote a python script last night for the FBV Shortboard MKII that lets me control live with my FBV.  It is based very heavily on the work of Hanz Petrov who has done so much work documenting the LiveAPI that the code is pretty trivial to write now.  My code draws a red box around the tracks I am working with exactly like the APC40 does, and basically makes the FBV a physical extension of what is going on in Ableton Live.  This basically gives me the ability to create snapshots of all of my virtual instruments, mixer settings, etc. with Kapture, and then I can stomp on a pedal to switch between them.  My hands are free to play instruments, and my feet control Ableton.  Pro tools may be the industry standard, but this flexibility and stability makes it feel like a dinosaur.  I can do almost anything I can think of with this software.  It’s incredible.  Python is kind of a glue language, and that is exactly how I used it.  I glued some hardware to a neat Max/MSP app and have something better than what I was trying to write earlier.  I learned a lot writing my old setup though so it isn’t a total wash.

This functionality has obvious live music implications, but it turns out that it is so efficient that I can probably use it when recording and mixing too.  I barely have to touch my laptop which is awesome.  I am now working on getting my Maschine integrated with everything and I should have a really flexible setup with a pretty minimal effort.

I am cleaning up the code now and I am going to try it out over the next few weeks.  I’ll post the code if anyone wants it, but for now I am going to play with it a bit first to make sure it all works as expected.

My initial implementation worked exactly as designed, but when I tried setting up all of my band’s songs in a single live set (so I could switch between songs seamlessly), I quickly realized that midi was not going to be the solution.  I had not way to track what state the tracks were in from the song before which meant that I had to put every song in the order that I intended to perform them beforehand.  That sucks because it doesn’t allow me to change the set list on a whim.  I also ran into a limitation of live where I can only assign one midi value to a parameter.  This meant that if button a was controlling parameter a of a plugin or whatever, button b could not control that parameter at all.  This meant that instead of being able to hit a button and have it do a few things, and then hit another button and have it do a few different things and undo one of the previous things was not going to work.  The whole thing felt very fragile.  I decided it was time to use Max For Live and it’s Ableton API to set parameters and just take as much midi out of it as I could.

My second implementation used a bunch of set commands to just force set parameters.  I used the param save function to save the settings for each button press into xml.  That worked really well but I later found out that the looper built into live basically requires midi to be used.  It doesn’t expose anything I need to the live API.  I also found out that if you use the set command to set a parameter, it does it as if you clicked the button yourself and there is a 10ms delay or so.  It also has the side effect of creating an undo event for every single thing the pedal does.  That probably isn’t a big deal but I found out that it isn’t really that hard to use the remote~ function to send messages to live and anything sent over a remote is realtime and and doesn’t create an undo event.  Basically the goal at the point was to use remote~ for everything I could and use regular set commands for everything else.  Below are some examples of some of the things I’ve written that are part of the entire tool that lets me basically DJ my own music with my feet while I play.

Here is an example of setting a return track volume with remote and with a set command.

<pre><code>———-begin_max5_patcher———-809.3ocwW97jZBCEG+L9WQFl83VKgeI1Y1CsS6sdpSusSGmH7TSKj3PhVa2Y6e6kj.JKhUTVrGTjGgju7488Ed9zHK647cfvF8NziHKqmFYYoCoBXUdtkcFYWbJQnGlMC9Ie92su2bIIrSpCKnK+SUvEblTP+Mnt.1crSYX1lLJKEj54AeHHeirYTZhdRKVn23EVeZYjL8zZ+9bJIs5JlYP9q0f4IQoFVwkQeqb.qIx3UT1xY4PrzLlPmBgglhCTG77Te6VDB8M0c77nQputueLIktEFmCYbIbQrwsU13zBalbd1b5Gce8iN1cxgm8x6QP1BIyJVghaYFQJyoy2HM1Dq8Hvxd1ZHWPERfEaddzw0r6RIXFHDjkvQHrP8qPJNNS.RjLmD+CA5NLJitCxmk.aow.R.rDAxo5lSoLHlugIqyxqm6s4IitBO4+zMhCz4jnI5CXiezyc.7iJh1+BUuighuy0.k6K+zA3TVqFDLD0pzEn6ntnGd.4fjq.VwYX6gv6fcd0MOl54IFJgclND7QhVfl2eeiaK9lqgGKR4Dox3LmvV1A3DgKgSz3fd.mFaS85ZLlLTap3a7GZeANZ.pavp5FrotwYbT.BREPwuFjFBvdCT8SjwhLL6uHQyQzAo94Z5ORW0TT8PUuj7rjIbpgLg8q3IlmkAEKXSz7U0a0QelyKZm.i9DiLOEd6GoB0w9SrVZaJH3pZaZh1XDZNfivG01jZ1VPp0KzEBnbRBkuLmuYckJ1Rx2KOcyOkT5KGMxKnVZcNTzwjjHobV8bcjw9WsKQ0dEGyOW+dUm45bhkntvdQwuDxpVipX6MC6IU5lp+HygYLw3hR1G+Uz1pREs1hPz0XOOQRIx6PRw276v1SJ3om1Ti9.OM4rN6xDiu+QKyQIlZXTOHcO2M9aj50QE+krUv2jGWYW12PT8bFHjT1905wC65WaPqnII.qN.ynIq4E6mUphSjp6pnTV7yqoFJenEUXGzTCgeKjD9bXZxKFzPKoFNk10j+sMyoWtNwoanlb5fl7ts4NutXw8tsbxqKaOog4sSSMrJmfS+G73mUSg8PSEm77n+huFKWB———–end_max5_patcher———–</code></pre>

Here is an example of setting tempo that takes 3 seconds (if you’re using a 44100 sample rate ) to get from where it is to where you want it (for smoother tempo transitions if you want to link songs together and have a drummer playing to the click track… which I do).

<pre><code>———-begin_max5_patcher———-548.3ocuUF0bhBCDG+Y7SQl7rmCATuZeq2Wia5vDgUM2QRXHKddWm1O6WR.rTEKZq0GHPV1jc++a2.OMJftTuCLTx8jeRBBdZTPf2jyPPy7.pjuKMma7tQUvezK+Ecb8qPXG5MijUjksVWoUnQ7Ov8FVzjvFypJoPkCneiXuZTWgsViZrJx76pMRei0cWUboeWoOTJ34suodCv+V.0JgtJWyQ5XBcIWslRdrwuBNltQnVmTBoXsqSmYSOx28ir42MY1XRT3jPxitU77nQtgweNzjK1BSJAoFgW5kPg8SnndIT3wDZ5rSiHxOz4YzgzO6NWNPlundhS+MKwv2BYI1nXWQBGwRwxJrtiIXOFBnIEPoQXPPkVqIucO+tlTzJfMD2SIF.IRtMfkIXIO82DoXm84LXqHEHFsUjHHKzs6StPAo5JE1krmSUn+9z3dpBwmYU3ntUWip+58ZTYKpqTwMsp9BVzhqaqZIWVXjZMt4EajhhCCatcI8sw8RL1wDKd9GkXFwZk83+vGraw0zNc1WObYSiK5DM6rIyrudxD5uEy9TfwqMZeZM7b0Zz7om9jwv5ndLZ+39UjpkRn97Nk1QZdG7eO3f+64Cgy9a0qQWUl1lPM+Ph7ZXx.CJTbTnUc7wU.63zFQVFn5hEoHqPKTXSNbB3eIoDafTx88oaXJ4KqCxI1MMm7HXPNM6MN8UmSGzobh1o42TNcP3dGN8QyI6jmG8ebm4y0N———–end_max5_patcher———–</code></pre>

Here’s a little event timing manager that lets me make my pedal presses take effect on the 1 via quantization:

<pre><code>———-begin_max5_patcher———-1951.3oc4b0zbaaCD8r7uBLZxsl3AeQBxNMGZu068VmLZnjfrYsDIKIThcxj+6EePJKKKIBIxEId53wlFTjhKd3sucAVH8salLcd4ixloneE82nIS91MSlXOk4DSZaOY5lrGWrNqwdYSKjeob9+L88tWRIeTYOc9Jz6xonO9QDFotWVnaQPx0MRT4VE0zp6VVUVnZx+pzbaD5s31SWrcSdwZox9TnOeR8se3YyWZejZy3Ch8eWKx1XeWm9604Yq6dE2af5oJoqaNc560+h9T6KWkoVbedwcypkKTtqfGosJDI1cHgXNPw2hQexbKe+laL+48dhW1N0zi0IwGsSRdcmL5jck7B0Y6ITrv1GX1tBc2e2cOKJ2rQV3FBmdE8tdYCjPxFHD.oCoNzCGOH5vFYSS1cxWgXU0kUxZ0Sn7lYUqydRaBCGhNBWJ9ZPnyRwXFSpCjHDmOyUhNmfNsN+yxaKm2Hq+rrFDlCGBhSKzHbPiH8YhS68zj8Y4xY5mu9VlkoT04y2pbxwS1gPSlNSyLZxaTxhE1mM1ddKzNl.rtGbOx7eyZdVwxGTlbTTl8ZTldsnbeHMKZORXZ5f7POADoPyQyGNpbLUqq.UlmYzGZO5AGjXQFFePHSWvhCgl+597Fj8YKqQprGjMFQejN3j7N8YZz2CRUhxUnrhknkRs7Vio01BU9Z6kpeDJzFYVy1Zo8hnbcZD4KdnAMWtpTeR8kqeeVZtuaQn+Tgz5n52WMFs9Iz+tMS+ueU+byJdBo8gTkEnpZykzXt5U1GhpNawCZ8UTiprpRtz7dZFVruXqtroezXNSc416tW2EZT5250OcaWmdcdgbQ4VWHyjASGvulNv5mNbjwYijql56TewNsXwX6AjeBO.7.8.Xryn+h9ix0KOaFP93G3jFXNsXF61nwOJUUdk7RfGuiYyXjqEd7.SRr1GPXhQ0LGFNC8pAkNwy9xdtMsYA0BPQ3AAPmNwOYkVXSOso2Qfg8PDfvdZmejHB6.I2blFYzAqm.AUOLvSXLr.H7IFT7woFmxGD9Dd2KbJztWwVfIlMFdWmAeVAD9jLT7Y05xryiPbrkBEicJzz2XJzXAzTHpK1E3.DTbnX34Pznn8byhigAhVAFDc0Q4cPieXjiFEwaUjda4mQSRf1OqUHp6PJD.jcMCIneqaAjw1e5eQCGL7It5Hc8ttDsg3RcSHKlNnEG6T4HAb9QTQBH4G0IL0hQBHxOR9XUM5cqHneAwSvCm9bT3gCJ73BsIDPrtpFWtU64xYZrmC2Jnb3nf4v0hZQhVOtTHfMGqRqU8ADADNEgx.gSEue1R5vbPnFQ.RDR.Ih3NDQfPCx5jQ2yIyqRggGXAMnhXfipE.eLNFq8wFEcni4kQfYY05xlzcPvATBhZfmbfV2HLjhPsnSp.DQHNPHBEl0gsMsZ2xMFgAYkz1Uf4l76JxTaqkyVJKJ03PlprFFQ6zDHwK1K2mFwgtlyCVhNEtIdzAQt5cPo6Eq+MZsmwCr1yLLdPnceHdTx9jxTP1GDaKpLkvzNy3aAAknozAVIt1C8unKt3.71xGv.YeiTlszsDGCsNsGScies0s+rUMvgGTQap5fsUFb+LbRTzqQlzAurlm8nGvGyMEmHZJHoWrKV5hs00xB0rlRsUnx2.S8eoIvj2QGX4VZXBm+FMNZBCr3ncPTmiXz+6iiRS3fFGs00skTBSbzunmGNPKEez0BNq0jiKRhKskYByp3fHWXJFWP814.NuRtayZPvoCRLaD101L10uusamYCXaa6Qo6Ee8Y43TSckaCftmyflNrsgGSLs2sNk3R6A1KvtIBO3Ccg8YXN+K6VMkaqWzAq6RPGQ28fVJaTlovmWVr2UYWZKzyly84K0S1e+d5l7kUkZZXqYbBmDespCedG2prEyMfVkd.TKi0iMYFluDahRbkPOsUtw8YCXuFIt8hbD2bY1FiP2.26.dPQVq1VuFkHn1juVDIbnDwmgN69OKjicl00sWqxV+f.ZUNcsd8VOv1g1p3955ENRkYx08hS1jzCHNkF6CkxLM1PRo7YzKMN7.EqWVNN7FUeoTXWL+.ZT9vnBKI2mTbBrnoGRA7fpNQ7QbJvg6ndkZJ6xvINwleGO1s.EbwtVC1dw9fglZGEvwUW.k9C6vBqUcflz4vp.x3Hburp.GMLIxqjQ4AlW4UxnGX6vaUTurpvlL5gojehzQog1p7BqD7.OchTuFASBLuJwqXQze.VEwKqJfSdF6UtDhPmMAw6IOGRrJwKrJ4BywgZ+PEGGYKLHiX+30XaMJ1K1K6Eew4jE61Gmz3maMJZb86gDX0DA2K0jPu7RwPL1NJV0n6gLJQz6mWIBLV4UrSwOBqh3kUEv46RYd4CF3YffEPLBRIo6ouFmNVxqNyczGZoLlK7kaOFiIN6ULBgCR7dc8CXR.TeRX5vZRDFq5msZfbH0+TLtz.aU9HwcHhB+xY3S.c62QIAMzY5OgVk8KxFO7A4AtZsbuwpPZUdoLvD+7UznKDnHQ1PkT22AHb2dG4ksHs6HFaLJBdvgn7a+XvBbATHfrgLbfV6mwA2dv3EMF8MjgcqO0eziKDbcbj3D2WWaO25EFqtw2u4+.JDKslB———–end_max5_patcher———–</code></pre>

With all of this working I am able to control Ableton with my feet while playing piano or bass or whatever.  I never have to touch the computer which kicks ass.  So far I’ve not found anything I can’t do with this software.  It really is a pretty brilliant piece of kit.  The sad thing is that I think I like writing software more than I like writing music.  I’m certainly better at it.  Anyway…

I always talked politics and work with dad.  We had opposite views on politics and very similar views on work.  I really loved those conversations, but beyond work and my political views, my life has been in shambles for awhile and literally all of it comes from me being selfish and scared.  I never talked to dad about that kind of stuff and I wish I would have because he never seemed to struggle with either from what I saw.  I am sure he did, I imagine everyone does, but he didn’t let it tangle his life the way I’ve done it.  I’ll bet he would have had some underwhelmingly simple advice.  He had some pretty simple rules that basically boiled down to this: be honest and go with your gut.  How do you fuck that up?

I’ve been struggling to be honest with myself about a lot of things and I’ve put off directly dealing with things out of fear of the possible outcomes.  I enable people to do things that aren’t good for me or people I care about, not because I am a kind and tolerant person, but because I’m scared to challenge them because it might hurt their feelings.  I have a negative association with challenging people and I have no idea where it comes from.  I hate seeing people hurt.  I think about how what I should say might impact them and I do nothing so as to avoid it.  The problem is that my inaction has a very real cumulative impact on the people I love and me.

I’m selfish with my emotions (except anger) and I daydream about ideals that I’ve never known to actually be true.  I don’t show people how I am really feeling very often, particularly when it’s love.  I’ve coupled that with the idea that if you wait long enough, things work out.  It’s true, things do work out; however, at what cost and in what way? It’s insane for a person like me to be guided by some bizarro concept of fate like that.  It’s completely out of character for me.  It’s an elaborate fantasy of me being a good guy who does the right thing that has just enough circumstantial evidence to seem like a sustainable reality… until it comes crashing down.

I fell for Ari quick and hard and I completely bullshitted myself into thinking it wasn’t real.  I felt bad for how it would make Heather feel.  I felt like I had an obligation to make my marriage work.  I felt like my friends would judge me for jumping into another relationship so quickly.  Whose feelings didn’t I just mention?  Oh yea, Ari’s and mine.  I was so worried about everyone’s feelings that I emotionally abused the shit out of Ari, the person who knows me better than anyone I’ve ever met.  Why did I do that?  I have no idea.  Because I thought she could take it maybe?  I really have no clue.  I am starting therapy next week to try to figure some of this out.  She broke up with me a few weeks ago and I didn’t put up a fight.  I’ve been trying to act like it was no big deal and needed to happen or whatever.  I feel like there’s a cave in my chest.  I haven’t gotten a full breath in a few weeks.  I didn’t sleep last night because my heart was trying to beat hard enough to make it feel like something was in my chest.  I’m just empty.

Dad said be honest and go with your gut, so here it goes.  I am completely in love with Ari.  She knows me better than anyone.  She challenges me and makes me think about things in a way no one ever has.   I should have been telling everyone about how incredible she was and instead I hardly said anything at all.  I should have been trying so much harder to make her feel as valuable as she is and I didn’t.  I should have protected her and looked out for her interests.  I should have just let myself fall for her out in the open.  I marginalized her.  I don’t know why I did that.  She’s so different than me but so similar in so many ways.  She gets me better than I do sometimes.  She just wants me to be the person who I want to be.  How many people do you meet who want that for you?  Why would anyone let that go?  I am such a fuck.  So what about my gut?  It says get my shit together and live for others instead of myself, but in a way that enriches my life instead of weighs it down.  I need to live in a way that is honest and happy instead of manipulative and scared.  I need to live the life that I allowed my dad to believe I was living and the life that he was actually living.  Be honest, go with your gut, man up.