Check this out if you want to read how journalists are supposed to act and if you want to watch Matt Taibbi tear Lara Logan a brand new asshole.

My allergies may actually be killing me. M. Night Shyamalan released a movie called The Happening where plants basically killed nearly everyone in the world. That movie is real, only instead of going after everyone in the world based on the concentration of people, the plants seem to be targeting those cursed with the genetic deficiency that is allergies. Instead of the victims going crazy and committing suicide, we just drown in snot.

I actually feel nauseated. I haven’t really been single since high school other than a few months in my early 20s. I don’t know if that is a bad thing necessarily unless I do it because I’m running from something or scared of being single. I know that I don’t like being single. I can say definitively that when I am alone and not busy I am inherently sad. I think a lot of the reason I stay so busy all the time is so I don’t have to feel that. Again, I am not sure if that is necessarily a bad thing because it makes me productive. I could sit around and mope and be down, and instead I try to do something that has an output. I think it’s catching up to me though.

The problem now is that right now I am forced to deal with things directly which makes me uncomfortable and in doing that I am destroying something that is very special to me and that certainly has a lot of potential. It started out wrong and has continued down that path and I don’t think it can get on the right path as long as I am in whatever state I am in. I need to be comfortable with real confrontation. I need to be comfortable with feelings. I am a decent arguer and I am pretty good at flipping issues and twisting words so that conversations don’t actually ever veer very close to what the actual issue is. It lets me place blame where it probably doesn’t belong and it gets me of off the hook. I think it’s probably time to be on the hook though.

I need to be alone. I need to face my issues and resolve them before I am going to be able to be good for anyone. I’ve spent that last 6 months feeling guilty about a lot of things. I’ve had some really intense glimmers of brilliance in that time; however, they’re always snuffed out and I think the reason is because, at the core, I am a destructive force right now. I need to be in a place where when the glimmer of brilliance happens I can let it radiate and be what it deserves to be. I need to be more than buttered noodles. They’re only good some of the time.

I got a call from my wife today informing me that she got the mail out of the mailbox and it was all soaked due to a combination of our ghetto mailbox and Oregon’s crap winter weather.  As if that wasn’t bad enough she informed me that we had received a letter from the IRS saying we were getting audited.  Now normally on April first you blow this off, except for we’ve already gotten two of these letters asking us for money from our 2006 taxes when Heather’s former salon submitted records with amounts that conflicted with the results they provided to us.  Every few weeks we have received a letter and have had to pay a few hundred dollars.  It has been infuriating and I thought we had it all sorted out.  Even with all of this going on, I was still dubious of my clever wife… until I got a call from my accountant Bob Nelson.  He said to prepare for the worst and that when audits happen you don’t often escape without having to pay a bunch of money.  I fell for it hook, line, and sinker.  I don’t know how, but I will have my revenge.  And Bob, you will not get away with this.

Heather gets me every year.  How she convinced an accountant to waste 15 minutes of his day to talk on the phone with his unnecessarily wound up client two weeks before tax day is beyond me.  The only thing that explains it is that he must have the same delight in trickery that she does.

Sorry I haven’t posted in a long time.  I have been impossibly busy.  With that, I am off.

This is just brilliant, tragic and brilliant.  Just ignore the commercial.