Comments on: The sum of my flaws equals…? http://jlegler.com/archives/190 simple things that interest me Mon, 05 Dec 2011 06:23:21 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: In the rough http://jlegler.com/archives/190/comment-page-1#comment-522 In the rough Mon, 28 Jun 2010 14:35:17 +0000 http://jlegler.com/?p=190#comment-522 imminent imminent

]]> By: T Brooks http://jlegler.com/archives/190/comment-page-1#comment-521 T Brooks Mon, 28 Jun 2010 10:15:32 +0000 http://jlegler.com/?p=190#comment-521 While my talents lie not in knowing the hearts and minds of men, I know that bravery is as simple as doing what you know is right no matter the risk or cost. From what I understand of the choices presented you, the issue isn't with doing what is right, it is with knowing what the hell right actually is. You're a smart man, and from what I know of you, you don't act impulsively. I can only imagine the emotions attached to the issue, and sorting though all that brain slush in search for the concretes below it can be tiresome and time-consuming. Spending that time isn't cowardly. We are talking about World of Warcraft, right? While my talents lie not in knowing the hearts and minds of men, I know that bravery is as simple as doing what you know is right no matter the risk or cost. From what I understand of the choices presented you, the issue isn’t with doing what is right, it is with knowing what the hell right actually is.

You’re a smart man, and from what I know of you, you don’t act impulsively. I can only imagine the emotions attached to the issue, and sorting though all that brain slush in search for the concretes below it can be tiresome and time-consuming. Spending that time isn’t cowardly.

We are talking about World of Warcraft, right?

]]> By: jlegler http://jlegler.com/archives/190/comment-page-1#comment-520 jlegler Sun, 27 Jun 2010 21:32:06 +0000 http://jlegler.com/?p=190#comment-520 Nothing I am doing is really brave though Jeff. We've talked about ends-justifies-the-means type behavior vs. the nobility of the action itself before. Am I actually sticking out long slow fights or am I just not delivering the killing blow when I should under the guise of passivity? Am I scared or do I really think it's a better way to do it? I appreciate your words. I'll figure it out. Nothing I am doing is really brave though Jeff. We’ve talked about ends-justifies-the-means type behavior vs. the nobility of the action itself before. Am I actually sticking out long slow fights or am I just not delivering the killing blow when I should under the guise of passivity? Am I scared or do I really think it’s a better way to do it? I appreciate your words. I’ll figure it out.

]]> By: j. brooks http://jlegler.com/archives/190/comment-page-1#comment-519 j. brooks Sun, 27 Jun 2010 20:59:55 +0000 http://jlegler.com/?p=190#comment-519 what you're doing is working. i promise. after you die and the gods are doing bolivian cocaine with you and going over the timeline of your life, you'll see this short period for what it is. but at present, stay rooted in that eternal context of the now. now is where you're needed. you're the smartest person i know and i know some smart motherfuckers. but you're also wicked brave in your ability to dig in and stick out the long slow fights this existence pitches upon us. one of my few great gifts is knowing my fellow man. knowing their heads, their hearts, their worth. i see you and i see your strengths, sir. even when you don't. i count myself lucky to be your friend, for you are mine and nothing you could ever change would change that. so do your worst. "fearlessness is better than a faint-heart for any man who puts his nose out of doors. the length of my life and the day of my death were fated long ago." the world is full of heroes, my friend. some roaring and bloody. some in the sun, some in the shade. some stoic like oaks. be the one you were meant to be. you're already doing a hell of a job. cheers, jeff what you’re doing is working. i promise.

after you die and the gods are doing bolivian cocaine with you and going over the timeline of your life, you’ll see this short period for what it is. but at present, stay rooted in that eternal context of the now. now is where you’re needed.

you’re the smartest person i know and i know some smart motherfuckers. but you’re also wicked brave in your ability to dig in and stick out the long slow fights this existence pitches upon us.

one of my few great gifts is knowing my fellow man. knowing their heads, their hearts, their worth. i see you and i see your strengths, sir. even when you don’t.

i count myself lucky to be your friend, for you are mine and nothing you could ever change would change that. so do your worst.

“fearlessness is better than a faint-heart for any man who puts his nose out of doors. the length of my life and the day of my death were fated long ago.”

the world is full of heroes, my friend. some roaring and bloody. some in the sun, some in the shade. some stoic like oaks. be the one you were meant to be.

you’re already doing a hell of a job.

cheers,

jeff

]]> By: In the rough http://jlegler.com/archives/190/comment-page-1#comment-518 In the rough Sun, 27 Jun 2010 20:41:22 +0000 http://jlegler.com/?p=190#comment-518 I remember growing up that my mother always said, "Pick your battles." As a child, I never fully understood what she meant but it seemed very wise. As an adult, I have learned how painstaking and difficult it can be to confront a loved one, friend, colleague or even a stranger. Serendipitously, as I was writing this article from my living room, I heard screaming coming from down the street. I looked out to see two of my neighbors yelling at each other. I must have caught the tail-end because the only words I caught were, "you're a troublemaker" and then a slamming door. Maybe this is why we are afraid to confront. The possibility of a confrontation becoming heated and an ensuing fight. Also, the potential of losing a relationship such as what just happened with my neighbors is frightening. Some of you might be thinking, "All confrontations are heated or involve fighting." This makes sense as many of us have experienced negative and hurtful confrontations. I do hope to challenge that belief because I think that confrontation can happen without fights or hurt feelings. Confrontation can be empowering especially if it's done with respect towards all parties. It's an opportunity to have others understand your wants and needs. It does not have to be about judgment and blame. I have written many times about how vital expressing yourself is to treating depression and anxiety. And, if you are not used to telling people your thoughts and feelings it can feel like confrontation even though the opposite may be true. Even the dictionary is confused about the meaning of confrontation. I found five definitions split between a fight and a disagreement. This was my favorite, "a focused comparison; bringing together for a careful comparison." Simply this means the ability to converse civilly about different points of view. Approaching a conflict with this in mind lends itself to working out the issue rather than choosing sides and fighting. I know this is easier said than done but maintaining and creating healthy relationships always takes work. And after all, isn't that a battle worth picking? http://www.dailystrength.org/experts/julie-cohen/article/confronting-confrontation-why-we-avoid-it I remember growing up that my mother always said, “Pick your battles.” As a child, I never fully understood what she meant but it seemed very wise. As an adult, I have learned how painstaking and difficult it can be to confront a loved one, friend, colleague or even a stranger.
Serendipitously, as I was writing this article from my living room, I heard screaming coming from down the street. I looked out to see two of my neighbors yelling at each other. I must have caught the tail-end because the only words I caught were, “you’re a troublemaker” and then a slamming door. Maybe this is why we are afraid to confront. The possibility of a confrontation becoming heated and an ensuing fight. Also, the potential of losing a relationship such as what just happened with my neighbors is frightening.
Some of you might be thinking, “All confrontations are heated or involve fighting.” This makes sense as many of us have experienced negative and hurtful confrontations. I do hope to challenge that belief because I think that confrontation can happen without fights or hurt feelings. Confrontation can be empowering especially if it’s done with respect towards all parties. It’s an opportunity to have others understand your wants and needs. It does not have to be about judgment and blame. I have written many times about how vital expressing yourself is to treating depression and anxiety. And, if you are not used to telling people your thoughts and feelings it can feel like confrontation even though the opposite may be true.
Even the dictionary is confused about the meaning of confrontation. I found five definitions split between a fight and a disagreement. This was my favorite, “a focused comparison; bringing together for a careful comparison.” Simply this means the ability to converse civilly about different points of view. Approaching a conflict with this in mind lends itself to working out the issue rather than choosing sides and fighting.
I know this is easier said than done but maintaining and creating healthy relationships always takes work. And after all, isn’t that a battle worth picking?

http://www.dailystrength.org/experts/julie-cohen/article/confronting-confrontation-why-we-avoid-it

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